Work and Stereotypes.
In The Dark Tower series written by Stephen King there’s a character named Odetta Holmes who has multiple personalities. Her other personality is Detta Walker. Detta walker is the offensive black stereotype. Saying things like fiddy and gawd and shit like that. I found it really quite ridiculous. Well tonight I trained this lady. Well she doesn’t have multiple personalities and doesn’t want to destroy the fo’special, at least not to my knowledge, but with the speech patterns and all.
Now if you don’t know I work security. It’s an easy job. Walk up and down piers (at least where I’m training this person) and hit metal buttons with a metal reader thing. Very simple.
Well I’m just beginning my shift. I begin by calling in so that they know I’m there and put me on the clock. The lady who answers asks if I’m training somebody tonight. My response was I don’t know it’s possible. They never tell me anything. She then tells me that the lady who’s supposed to be there is lost and asks if I know where the First Baptist Church of Bay Area or some shit is. Of course I don’t I’m on the phone with the call in lady pretty much telling her I don’t know where you’re talking about for about 10 minutes.
Eventually she hangs up and I go about my business. I get started on my first round I’m not 10 minutes into when I get a call from my boss saying I’m going to be training somebody tonight. She says that she didn’t tell me earlier because she didn’t know if she was going to be able to make it.
What the fuck is that? You tell people to be somewhere they’re there or they’re fired. Well at least I know how it works now. No more working overtime for me. Yes!
Anyway. My boss tells me that the lady who’s going to be there is lost and is talking to another one of my bosses for directions. And that I should call her later today to tell her how it goes. The reason being is that the lady I’m training is afraid to work by herself in the dark. So I have to report upon the competence of this new guard. Just fucking great.
About 30 minutes later I get a call from Elton that other boss I mentioned. Saying that the lady is here and I need to go find her and tell her where to park. I need to tell her where to park? Arg. This is going to go well. I go out to the parking lot next to the office and there’s nobody there. So I drive around a bit, and find her parked in the middle of the street with her hazard lights on. She honks at me like I don’t see her, which is just insulting, and then tells me she’s been lost for like an ‘oura’ and that I need to tell her where to park. I say anywhere in the parking lot is fine. And she replies with I’ll just follow you. *sigh*
We get her parked. I sign her in. I have her fill out the necessary paperwork, and we get started on the rounds where I left off. I start to head down the pier, and she stops me for a minute and asks, “We have to go down there?” Yeah. We have to go down there unless you have magic x-ray binoculars that can tell you when a boat is sinking or on fire from way up here. She then mentions she’s afraid of water and doesn’t know how to ‘swum’ which is how I think she put it. So to recount she’s afraid of the water, she’s afraid of the dark, she’s afraid of being by herself, she’s also afraid of birds I find out. A great security guard in the making, no doubt. Not to mention it’s hard to understand what she’s saying most of the time. This is an improvement upon what I normally have to work with.
But all I’m really trying to say is I! HATE! TRAINING! PEOPLE! That’s all I’m really trying to say.
Now if you don’t know I work security. It’s an easy job. Walk up and down piers (at least where I’m training this person) and hit metal buttons with a metal reader thing. Very simple.
Well I’m just beginning my shift. I begin by calling in so that they know I’m there and put me on the clock. The lady who answers asks if I’m training somebody tonight. My response was I don’t know it’s possible. They never tell me anything. She then tells me that the lady who’s supposed to be there is lost and asks if I know where the First Baptist Church of Bay Area or some shit is. Of course I don’t I’m on the phone with the call in lady pretty much telling her I don’t know where you’re talking about for about 10 minutes.
Eventually she hangs up and I go about my business. I get started on my first round I’m not 10 minutes into when I get a call from my boss saying I’m going to be training somebody tonight. She says that she didn’t tell me earlier because she didn’t know if she was going to be able to make it.
What the fuck is that? You tell people to be somewhere they’re there or they’re fired. Well at least I know how it works now. No more working overtime for me. Yes!
Anyway. My boss tells me that the lady who’s going to be there is lost and is talking to another one of my bosses for directions. And that I should call her later today to tell her how it goes. The reason being is that the lady I’m training is afraid to work by herself in the dark. So I have to report upon the competence of this new guard. Just fucking great.
About 30 minutes later I get a call from Elton that other boss I mentioned. Saying that the lady is here and I need to go find her and tell her where to park. I need to tell her where to park? Arg. This is going to go well. I go out to the parking lot next to the office and there’s nobody there. So I drive around a bit, and find her parked in the middle of the street with her hazard lights on. She honks at me like I don’t see her, which is just insulting, and then tells me she’s been lost for like an ‘oura’ and that I need to tell her where to park. I say anywhere in the parking lot is fine. And she replies with I’ll just follow you. *sigh*
We get her parked. I sign her in. I have her fill out the necessary paperwork, and we get started on the rounds where I left off. I start to head down the pier, and she stops me for a minute and asks, “We have to go down there?” Yeah. We have to go down there unless you have magic x-ray binoculars that can tell you when a boat is sinking or on fire from way up here. She then mentions she’s afraid of water and doesn’t know how to ‘swum’ which is how I think she put it. So to recount she’s afraid of the water, she’s afraid of the dark, she’s afraid of being by herself, she’s also afraid of birds I find out. A great security guard in the making, no doubt. Not to mention it’s hard to understand what she’s saying most of the time. This is an improvement upon what I normally have to work with.
But all I’m really trying to say is I! HATE! TRAINING! PEOPLE! That’s all I’m really trying to say.
posted by Robert at 4:09 AM
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