Love? Lust. And Hatred!

A couple of months ago I found myself looking back over my life. My thoughts were mostly of Love and three specific incidents that I’ll be writing about today. The thought progress was something like this. I was thinking about my current girlfriend and getting a bearing on how I felt which lead to thoughts of love which lead me to thoughts of my first girlfriend. You’ll see why in a moment. This reminded me of how much I’ve changed over the years, and I was remembered 2 other incidents that illustrate that change, and are hopefully amusing.

The first conversation happened when I was 12 maybe 13, and it was with my girlfriend at the time. Below is a brief transcription. This happened on the phone, by the by, I hate using the phone.

Her: “How come you haven’t said the L-word?”
Me: “What the hell is the L-word? I know the f-word, b-word, s-word, d-word, h-word, I don’t know any L-word.”
Her: “You know the L-word.”
Me: “No. I don’t. Really, what the hell are you talking about?”
Her quietly to her mom on the other end: “Mom, do you know what the L-word is?”
Her Mom: “What, Love?”
Her: “Yeah that’s it.”Me: “Oh! Love. Yeah okay I know what you’re talking about now.”
Her: “Well?”
Me: “Well, what?”
Her: “Do you?”
Me: “Oh! Yeah, of course I do.”

Jump to a week later. I’m outside the band hall playing cards with some friends when one my girlfriend’s friends came over. I didn’t like this girl. She didn’t like me. Pretty simple, straight forward and I didn’t care. And like in that episode of south park.

Her: “She breaks up.”
Me: “Huh, what?”
Her: “She breaks up. She doesn’t want to go out with you anymore. She says you can still be friends.”Me: “Oh. Okay.” I turn back to the game at hand. “I bitch slap you, and first aid.”
Her: “…” then she leaves.

So we broke up and I never saw her again, but that’s just the way things go. In AL-ALLL-AL-ALLL. Anyway, I think she was waiting for me to cry or get angry or something. But it didn’t bother me that much. I didn’t like that she had her friend do it, but the end result wasn’t bothersome. I wonder why it ended.

This second conversation happened when I was 15 or 16. I know it was during the summer I got my drivers license I just don’t remember whether it happened before I got it or after. This girl was visiting friends or family that lived behind me. She was there for the entire summer and was attractive. Problem number 1. The second problem…well you’ll see.

Her: “You know if you say Godsmack backwards you say smack god. Oh I shouldn’t say things like that. God will get angry.”
No. Idiot, if you say Godsmack backwards you get cams dog. I thought.
Me: “Hmm, you’re right I never thought of that before. You’re intelligent.”

I was 15 and the hormones were in charge. I’m very ashamed of myself. I can thankfully say I haven’t done that again or at least nothing quite so obvious. Looking back on it thought it’s pretty funny to me anyway.

Third and final conversation happened in s’ymmoT (I typed mockingly) apartment. In the presence of .J (again with the typing mockingly) and éneR (let’s have one more). The three of us were in the living room probably playing mage or just talking about random crap when Tommy’s desperation lay decided to interrupt by saying stupid shit. Like she had a tendency to do.

She said something. I don’t remember what exactly, but I disagreed with it. I said no that’s not right or I don’t think so or something to that extent. Not 2 seconds later she says, “You know guys don’t disagree with me.”

René started to point a finger, but I beat him to it. “I just did. You’re wrong. And I’m sure that they disagree like these two here. They don’t agree with you, but they’re not saying so. I disagree you’re wrong.” Or something to that extent. “Okay well besides you guys don’t disagree with me.” She left a few minutes after this and allowed us to continue what we were doing.

That last one is probably a poor example of my evolution with dealing of the opposite sex. What with me hating that lady. But it did happen in a different phase of my life and normally even in that phase, which is still continuing, I wouldn’t have said anything. I just didn’t like her, and I only met her like twice. Unlike J. who had to deal with her pretty much every time she came over.

I think that covers it for those conversations I might talk more on it later. There have been some awkward moments in my current relationship I may or may not go into them. Probably won’t though.